Betawi tradition recognizes a multi-steps process before a couple get married. These stages are currently not commonly done or no longer carried out due to various reasons. These steps are:
- Ngedelengin, seeking for a prospective daughter-in-law, which is conducted by a matchmaker.
- Ngelamar, proposing to the bride’s family.
- Bawa Tande Putus, agreement on the wedding date.
- Ngerudat, the groom’s family visits the bride’s house, carrying traditional wedding gifts and offerings such as roti buaya (betawi traditional crocodile bread), pesalin, sie (a box filled with raw food ingredients, such as rice, vegetables) and other stuffs.
- Duduk Nike (Akad Nikah or Ijab Kabul), a vow made by the bride groom in front of the bride’s family
- Kebesaran, the ceremony of the bride and groom sitting on dais to receive well-wishes from family and guests
- Negor, the groom persuades his bride to start a family.
- Pulang Tige Ari, a wedding reception ceremony held at the home of groom’s family.
Before the implementation of the Ijab Kabul (wedding vow), a traditional ceremony called Buka Palang Pintu (open the door’s latch) is held. Buka Palang Pintu is one processions that must be conducted by the couple ahead of the wedding vow. The ceremony begins with a procession of the groom going to the bride’s house. In the procession, in addition to the accompaniment of Rebana Ketimpring music, the groom also brings a set of wedding offerings, including roti buaya (a symbol of loyalty), a mosque mockups, pineapple betel, pesalin (wedding dress), vegetables, money, Betawi snacks, and clothes.
Buka Palang Pintu is a tradition conducted when the groom, called “mister raja mude” (the young prince), is about to enter the bride’s house or “tuan putri” (the princess). Initially both parties exchange greetings. Eventually the situation heats up when the bride tests the skills and intelligence of the groom in silat (traditional martial arts) and in reciting Quran. There will be a fight after that in which the groom will always win. After that, the bride asks the groom to demonstrate his skills in reading the Quran.